... for Ponies!!
Flying is the fastest and safest way of transportation. Besides that, according to a certain pegasus pony, it's fun. Approximately 3 million ponies are carried on flying boxes, so called aircrafts, every day. From Ponyville to Canterlot, Cloudsdale or Manehattan, the aircraft will transport you safely.
An airplane will only take off - on board with you - if inspected and released to the intended flight. This very important action happens only few minutes before takeoff, but the "safety story" starts on the desk of designers and covers all aspects of civil aviation as follows:
Design: All types of design are inspected and will only be certified by Princess Celestia if all safety standards complied.
Product: All airplane components are checked before and after installation, and all airplanes are tested in the air before leaving the Rainbow Factory.
Companies: Only certified company can design, manufacture, operate and maintain an airplane. We cannot allow any derps. Companies shall meet all organizational, procedural and resource requirements before certification. They also follow strict diet by Applejack.
People: Your airplane is designed, manufactured, maintained and operated by authorized and licensed staff. In order to keep valid aviation license, successful initial and recurrent trainings at the Wonderbolts Academy shall be completed and experience maintained.
Oversight: All certified airplane and company, all licensed staff member are registered and continuously monitored by Wonderbolts Academy in order to maintain approvals valid.
Planes are strong and stable; they are built with large safety margins. They withstand more stresses and forces than they are exposed to. Snowflake himself observes all revisions.
The main instruments are doubled or tripled in order to ensure that no problem occurs should one of them fail. No derps can happen!
For your own safety please:
· Listen to the safety instructions, and read your safety card
· Keep your seatbelt securely fastened low across your front and rear legs at all times
· Comply with the carry-on baggage restrictions
· Switch off your mobile phone, vibrator and other electrical devices during the entire flight
There is no need to be concerned about turbulence. Even strong turbulence is normal and does not harm the aircraft.
Turbulence is caused by winds and can be easily predicted, so the cruising altitude may be changed to minimize the unpleasant effects.
You can expect some light or mild turbulence during take-off and landing in lower altitudes on hot sunny afternoons, because the sun warms the ground and hot air rises, making the air "bumpy".
Do not forget that - despite you feel so - the plane is never falling hundreds of feet, just a few.
Push your stomach outwards then breathe deeply and slowly through your muzzle. Pause and then exhale slowly. Repeat this until you feel better.
Or try to think about Fluttershy. She, as a little filly, got over her fears and look where she is now. When she did it, you can do it too.
Aircraft cabin is pressurized, but cabin air pressure is lower than on the ground. It is equivalent only to pressure at the altitude of 1500-2000 metres above sea level, which is well tolerated by healthy passengers. Passengers with cardiovascular or respiratory diseases or certain disorders of the blood should consult their physician before travelling, because they may not tolerate the reduced amount of oxygen on board.
During air travel the air pressure changes that can cause discomfort to the ears, in most cases during landing. If you have ear, muzzle or sinus infections, you should avoid flying because injury may result from inability to equalize pressure differences. If such problems arise during the flight, muzzle drops may help.
If you have ear pain you should try the following:
· yawn or swallow
· chew hay
· hold your muzzle and blow out gently
Relative humidity is around 20%, which is relatively low and therefore may cause discomfort in the eyes, mouth and nose. Your manecut can be affected a little, but nobody but Rarity will be able to tell the difference.
For alleviating discomfort we suggest you use spectacles instead of contact lenses, drink soft drinks before and during the flight (avoid drinking alcoholic and caffeine-containing beverages) and use skin moisturizing lotion.
IMMOBILITY AND DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS (DVT)
Prolonged immobility on long flights - particularly when seated - may lead to development of blood clots in the legs. In most case it does not cause any symptoms, but it may cause swelling and stiffness.
In normal situations, you can release tension by apple bucking. Don't try to buck anything in the plane!
Motion sickness is caused by losing visual contact with the earth's horizon, but occurs very rarely during travel by air.
If you are susceptible to motion sickness, choose a window seat, most preferably over the wings, eat lightly before and during the flight, don't read, and open your air vent.
Smoking is not permitted on our flights. We suggest that heavy smokers should chew hay or use nicotine replacement patches or a mild tranquillizer in order to alleviate discomfort.
Flying does not endanger pregnant mares or the fetus, however we recommend avoiding air travel in the last month of pregnancy and until 7 days after delivery.
Air travel is not recommended for foals under the age of 7 days old and for premature foals, as changes in cabin pressure may distress them. Foals are more sensitive to dehydration. Make sure to maintain adequate fluid intake before and during the flight.
We suggest you consult your doctor before travel if you take immunosuppressive medication or are suffering from recent or chronic diseases, such as
· cardiovascular disorders
· chronic respiratory disease
· severe anemia
· unstable diabetes
· hallucinations of Celestia, Molestia or Trollestia
· you don't own an element of harmony
· you don't have at least one friend
· you have ban on the forums or IRC
· you think that you can be next Fall Formal queen of Canterlot Academy
· your dog talks and thinks he's a dragon
· you have Pinkie sense, your ears are flopping, eyes fluttering and tail twitching
· you are going to fight a dragon in near future
· you didn't write a letter to your princess
· you don't have a ticket for the next Gala
· you are a copy from the pond
· you walked through some blue flowers in Everfree recently
· you don't have a cutie mark or don't know what that means
· you are a changeling
· you returned from the future less than a week ago
· you have Smartypants doll hidden in your luggage
· you don't have anypony to take care of your pet
· you are Discord
· your fitness to travel is otherwise in doubt.
Flying with pacemaker is safe, however, unipolar lead pacing systems may be susceptible to electronic interference during flight and guidance on the effect of airport security screening devices should be obtained.
Cabin air is exchanged with outside air, and re-circulated cabin air is filtrated. This provides a complete change of air about 20-30 times per hour, meaning the level of ventilation is much greater than in any building, and keeps contaminant levels low.
The filters trap bacteria, fungi and most viruses. However, in order to avoid transmitting diseases from one country to another, people with contagious diseases should avoid travelling.
FOR SPECIFIC PONY RACES
Earth pony: You have it quite simple. Sit comfortably and fasten your seatbelts. The ground below you will shake a little, but that's absolutely normal. It's like seismic effect after Rainbow Dash's collision with a barn, or Sonic Rainboom. It's like travelling by train, or flight in a balloon. So, don't fear. Soon you will be trotting on the ground again.
Unicorn pony: I will ask you only for one thing: No dangerous magic. Not even for fun. Teleportation during flight can get you to a completely different place. Remember: When you want to teleport, the place you tried to get to is now far away behind the plane and you can end up in the air. You will pray to Celestia for Wonderbolt patrol to save you. Please, refrain from using levitation magic. It can negatively affect magical instruments on the plane. During takeoff and landing, all spells are prohibited. Flight attendants will inform you when your plane reaches the cruise level and you can use spells again. Please, be careful in the narrow corridor between the seats. You can endanger health and purity of other ponies with your horn.
Pegasus pony: “It's simple. No flying during the flight. You know well enough how to behave in the air and what can happen. Use the airlines preferably for long distance travels only and don't block planes for shorter ones, which you can simply travel using your own wings. Do you know how much space a small horse needs in the airplane? And one last thing: In a case of crisis, it is your duty to safe ponies without wings, and land them safely on the ground. And please, when you are escorting the airplane, don't fly too close to jet engines. It's quite difficult to clean them.
That's all, I will wait for you in the final destination.” Rainbow Dash.
Some fictional character, let's call him Jamis, would say: „behave reasonably“. But because we have many types of ponies around, we will provide some tips and advices:
· don't transport your pets in the carry-on luggage
· Pinkie party can begin after reaching cruise level
· don't fly near the airplane. There is a serious risk of being sucked in by the jet engines.
· smoking is prohibited onboard. But you are prohibited from starting a fire too, so it doesn't matter anyway.
· no horseplays on the wings
· pilots aren't sad. They are just fully occupied by flying. Don't try to cheer them up.
· flying at midnight isn't recommended. There is a risk of Luna appearing on the plane.
· in case of problems use the door
· overhead lockers are for storing your luggage. Don't try to hide inside.
· you won't get your cutie mark by hijacking the plane and landing.
· the time will change after entering another time zone. It's similar to Discord's visits in Ponyville
· if you’ve recently become an alicorn and don’t control your wing spreading yet, please obtain wing straps and use them during the flight
· dragons are prohibited from receiving or sending any mail during the flight
· searching for the emergency exits is fun. But don't forget that before the plane hits the ground, other ponies want to play too.
· sadly, ponies sick with the Cutie pox are prohibited from boarding our airplane
· oversized gems of the Tom category can be transported only in cargo deck
· don't spill your drink on Jamis in costume. He doesn't like it.
· air hostesses can provide you with earplugs and horn covers
· we have a qualified crew to assure your comfort during the flight
· aim your questions and wishes to our flight attendants
· you can call the flight attendants in by pushing the call button
· don't try to call the flight attendants by whistling, stomping and clapping to the rhythm of the song ‘Helping Twilight win the crown’
· don't tickle the crew members. They don't like it.
· you can ask for more hay to eat
· you can ask for more hay for your bedding
· you can ask for more hay
· and for all the other cases, we have large supplies of hay
· alcoholic beverages won't be provided to ponies below 18 years of age
· apples are provided to ponies of all ages without exception
· you won't find any toilet on board. Have you ever seen toilets for horses on a plane? You must hold it.
Once upon a time, there was a mask which suddenly appeared in front of a pony. “Why did that happen?” thought the pony. “Is it a gift from the flight company? Or another Pinkie Pie's prank?”
No, you silly filly! This magical mask appears when it is necessary and that's in the case of sudden change of air pressure on the deck.
Don't examine it for too long and put it on. Muzzle inside, the cord behind your head. Just like when someone wants to saddle you. After you put it on, breathe like you normally do.
PS: Apple scent isn't provided with the air.
Put the mask on yourself first and then help other ponies and cutie mark crusaders. Otherwise, another pony has to put your mask on, or you will die, or another one will put it on you before you die, so you can live, you know, because the mask has the oxygen and you need the oxygen to live and not to die, so it is good to have a mask, so you can live and help the others, to live and not to die, because you will provide with oxygen, which they need to keep on living. Or, actually, don't get tangled in the cables.
Congratulations, now both ponies have their masks on.
Playing of EQG and MLP games during takeoff and landing is prohibited. Don't let Pinkie Pie's balloons distract you and look around for the nearest exit.
Use your front legs to tie your hind legs. After that, release your hind legs, so you can tie your front legs. Repeat this procedure until your front legs and hind legs are tied.
“This is your mane. You still have it, even when you’re hiding behind a box. Don't step on the yellow line when you see smoke. You win once you find the red light.!” Yours Derpy.
Under the water, use the mask rather than one of Pinkie's balloons. You aren't a sea pony so don't try to breathe under the water. Put the mask on yourself and nearest ponies and wait for next part of program on the con.
In case of emergency landing on the water, dig out the life jacket, ingeniously buried under your seat. Connect parts which should be connected, or use duct tape.
Congratulations, now you look absolutely awful. You can jump to the water and have fun with others.
If the flight bores you, you can use the slide behind the doors marked as “Exit” at the next gas station.
Congratulations, now you officially don't know what to do and you will have to cope with us until the end of the flight.